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MID LIFE WOMAN from 'THE SEA IN YOU'
Category: Member Blogs
Tags: gypsy-hollow.com

VALENTINE TO A
MID LIFE WOMAN
Mid-life woman
you are not
invisible to me,
I seem to see
beneath your face
all the women
you have ever been.
Mid-life woman
I have grown
with you
secretly,
in another parallel,
breathing with you
as you breathed,
seeing with you
as you see,
lining my face
with an earned care
as you lined yours,
waiting for you,
as it seems
you waited for me.
I see your
inner complexion
breathing beneath
your outward gaze,
I see all your lives
and all your loves,
it must be for you
that I wanted to become
more generous,
a better man
than I could be
when young,
let me join all your
present giving
and all your receiving.
Through you I learn
the full imagination
of every previous affection.
Mid-life woman
you are not
invisible to me,
in you
I see a young girl,
lifting her face
to the sky,
I see the
young woman
in haloed light,
full and strong,
standing before
the altar of time,
waiting for her life.
I see the mother
in you,
in your past
or if not
in this life,
in some yet
to be understood
future,
I see you
adoring and
I see you adored,
and now,
when I call your name
I want to see
day by day,
the woman
you will become
with me.
Mid-life woman
come to me now,
I see you more clearly
than all
the airbrushed
girls of the world.
I became a warrior
only to earn
your present
mature affection,
I bare my scars to you,
my eyes are lined
to smile with you
and I come to you
uncultivated
and unshaven
walking rough
and wild through rain
and wind and I pace
the mountain
all night
in my happy,
magnificence
at finding you.
Mid-life woman,
In the dark of the night
I take you in my arms
and in that embracing
invisibility feel all of your
inner lives made touchable
and visible again.
Mid-life woman
I have earned
my ability to adore you.
Mid-life woman
you are not invisible to me.
Come to me now
and let me kiss passionately
all the beautiful women
who have
ever lived in you.
My promise
is to you now
and all their future lives.
.…
One of the singular mercies of growing slightly older might be that, with only a little maturity of vision we begin to find older faces, in men or women, if they have kept the light in their eyes, even more attractive than their younger versions. Though a friend of mine declares it could be because our eyesight is beginning to fade, I rather see it as the ability to see through one face, all the faces they have ever been, and in this poem, in one woman, all the women they have ever been. Part of the hard, endless path of maturing, is the need to learn to see in ourselves and in each other that we are everything and everyone we have ever been and always will be, and that this, actually allows the imagination to stretch on into new possibilities in the future which might have scared our more youthful selves to death. Ironically youth can be the home of shy conservatism, a lack of wildness and even an abstract distance from real intimacy, where years of difficult experience can make us beautifully raw and open to our selves; open to existence, to presence and to what we can become, with another, and with our selves; which an unsullied complexion and unlined eyes are unwilling to countenance and see. This all adds a new mystery and magnification to the relationship that our younger selves were too often, too timid to behold or confront. We mature into a new kind of beauty that youth is not ready or able to inhabit. Mid-life woman (or man) you are not invisible to me. DW
Facing the Storm.
Photo © David Whyte
Pacific Northwest
October 2015
Someone Who Manipulates Feelings Through Guilt Is Not Loving You
Category: Member Blogs
Tags: gypsy-hollow.com

There are tons of toxic people in this world and the more they work to manipulate us the more aware of them we need to become. While you might not be able to spot these people in your life right now, I can almost guarantee there is at least one far closer than you would like for them to be in your circle. 

In this world, most of us at least have one person who is trying to work to manipulate us. This person is someone who pretends to have your best interests in mind all the while working to control you and gain whatever he or she can through using you to his or her advantage. These people should not be in our close circles and we should be distancing ourselves from them. However, we cannot distance ourselves from them unless we are able to spot them. 

Below I am going to go over some of the signs that could indicate someone close to you is trying to manipulate you. These signs should not go overlooked. If these signs are present in regards to a specific person, you need to reevaluate their presence in your life.

7 Signs That Someone Is Manipulating You:

1. This person is always playing with your emotions.

When someone is trying to manipulate you they will play with your emotions. Instead of taking your feelings into consideration they will use them against you. They want you to feel as if you’re hurting them even when you’re not so that they can get what they want.

2. This person always makes you out to be the ‘bad guy.’

Those who try to manipulate you might make you out to be a bad person time after time. When they do something to hurt you they will turn things around and make it seem as if you’ve done something wrong even if you haven’t. The more you try to address the issue the more they will work to flip things around.

3. This person’s actions don’t match their words.

People who want to manipulate us will say the best things and build you up in ways that others won’t but they also don’t follow through with their words in their actions. They will say one thing and do another. The more you ask of them the less you will receive.

4. This person makes you feel responsible for their emotions.

Manipulative people will go out of their way to make sure they’re making you feel like you’re the one responsible for their emotional state. They will do the most to make you feel like you’re breaking them down by not giving in to the things they want or might think they need. While they’re the ones working themselves up they will project this kind of thing onto you as much as they possibly can.

5. This person is constantly giving you ultimatums.

When someone in your life is manipulating you they will never be willing to compromise. Things will always be ‘my way or the highway’ with them. The more you try to make things even, the harder they will push in the other direction.

6. This person uses your insecurities against you.

Manipulative people will get close to you so that they can learn your insecurities and weaknesses. This is because they know they can use those things to gain more control over you. They will bring up the things that bother you the most in order to break you down as much as possible.

7. This person never wants to wait for you to think things through.When manipulative people want something done they will make it seem as though there is no time for you to even think about whether or not you want to follow through. They bring these things to you with a sense of urgency so that they can convince you to do them. That is because they do not want you to decide against what they want.

You Worried Too Much
Category: Member Blogs
Tags: gypsy-hollow.com

You Worried Too Much

 

5 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Feel Required To Justify Yourself

In the back of every person's mind, a subconscious substrate of all thought and emotion is mixing around, either clear and functional, or tangled up and suppressed.

In other words, all the things that happen to us throughout the day and the way we are treated by everyone, it builds up in the back of the mind and really has a profound effect on us.

Sometimes it's even a delayed reaction.

You might be the more kind and giving person in a relationship of friendship, and when that isn't reciprocated, it could leave a genuine, long-lasting feeling of being taken advantage of: that type of thing really builds up.

1. It doesn't matter who is "right," it's your life

There is a such thing as objective morality, but when it comes to your life path and decisions you make, you're the only person who is correct: it's your choice.

When someone tries to coerce you into following a path that your gut and your intuition does not feel, that's just what the situation is: coercion.

Make no mistake, someone can be as polite and kind as they want, but they're still trying to coerce you to some extent if they're trying to insist you take a path in life you don't want to, like working toward a college degree for years.

In life, it's objectively necessary that we work as hard as we can to earn these paper notes we use to buy food.

It's certainly true that taking the path of going against the "grain" of the system and rejecting school may be difficult for some, but some of us are simply not destined for the mainstream path at all.

People who go their own way deserve the respect and support of their family and friends, not persistent, pushy and disrespectful attempts to persuade them to go on a different path.

Some people have no concept of what respect truly is, and if they follow mainstream culture, they may have no self respect either.

2. You don't necessarily owe anyone anything

When people try to act like you owe them something, or get you in this position where you're subservient to them in subtle ways, that's really not right.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with co-dependency and intimate closeness in whatever kind of relationship you would like, but when people try to treat you like this without offering anything in return, there's a problem.

Why do people even care what you do in life? When people are told to mind their own business and respect your right to live however you want, it's healthy.

It makes you feel free and strong as you should be, cleansing you of the repressed feelings you may be afflicted with from growing up in public school and in the system.

3. Is everybody right about everything?

Everybody who tries to tell you what to do, what do they really know? What do they know that you don't?

Absolutely nothing most of the time: depending on those who you surround yourself with and where you grew up, there may be all kinds of people around you trying to tell you how to live your life.

It's no exaggeration to say it's psychologically damaging, hindering to one's self-esteem and free expression, the free flow of all thought and inspiration, to be constantly told what to do and how to live life.

4. Pointless authority crushes free expression

What's that feeling you get, when in the back of your mind you feel hesitant about doing something because of some authority?

You might not even be breaking any laws or rules, but a feeling of hesitation, clutter is present in your subconscious, just about something you want to do that you should have every right to do.

What is that? It's the consequence of excessive authority, a culture of stringent regulation, and this psychologically damaging culture of regulation may be designed to do just that.

Free expression is severely hindered by authority and unnecessary regulation and the consequences seem to far outweigh any potential the chaos caused by a lack of regulation.

To solve this problem, that tangled subconscious, the feeling of the hesitation you shouldn't even have, you might have to break out of it and make a point to never hesitate.

Never fail to assert yourself, never fail to do what you want with morality and respect with you, and that cluttered feeling should start to heal.

5. Communication is a product of respect

It's certainly true that a healthy level of communication and explaining your reasoning for doing things in life is conducive to a good friendship, and a really healthy relationship.

However, are you really obligated to explain your reasoning for everything? No matter what kind of pressure the people you know to place upon you to do things a certain way, you are your own person.

As a general rule, maybe the amount you communicate your reasoning to people should be based on their level of respect for you. Why even explain what you're doing in life if people are going to disrespect you?

Or you could take the route of explaining anyway, because that's what you want to do, regardless of their reaction. In any case, doing whatever you want in life with consideration to your own morality is a freeing, cleansing thing.

In conclusion, there are a lot of things in life these days that seem specifically designed to hinder the free expression of the human spirit.

Asserting the will to live however you want doesn't have to be any extreme, hedonistic thing, or anything that conflicts with respect and consideration for the ones you love: it's about their respect for you.

You deserve respect and the ability to live life how you want, and if the people around you love you, depending on the circumstances they should appreciate what makes you happy!!

 

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MID LIFE WOMAN from 'THE SEA IN YOU'
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