Blog Entries
11 Signs Your Friendship Is Holding You Back Tags: #friends # support

Friendships often seem like relationships that will last forever. Your work bestie, your college roomie, your long-time BFF — these people are your people, and it's assumed they'll always be there. But sometimes things don't feel right, and you may have the sneaking suspicion that the friendship is holding you back. When that happens, moving on may be the best option.

This can happen when you outgrow a friendship, which is often the case once you head off to college, or go through another major life change. But this is even more so the case when a friendship has turned toxic. "In the same way that great friendships can help you achieve your personal goals ... a toxic friendship can block you from moving forward," says Sally Horchow, broadway producer and co-author of The Art of Friendship: 70 Simple Rules for Making Meaningful Connections, in an email to Bustle. "It’s hard to admit that a friendship has become stale — much less toxic. But once you have, it’s imperative that you quickly get out of the situation."If you think that's the case with one of your pals, Horchow suggests slowly backing out of the friendship the way you would a bad date. "The best way is to simply stop making plans with that person, and cut off communication with them," she says. "If that feels harsh, then wean off more gradually ... Fewer and fewer texts over time, until it’s silent." Read on for some signs that your friendship is most definitely holding you back.

1. They Don't Support You Making A Change

Let's say you want to make a positive change — maybe it's exercising more, drinking less, or giving up smoking. A good friend will be on board with that, and may even help you out. A toxic friend, on the other hand, will likely come up short in the "supportive friend" department. They may even give you a hard time, Horchow told me, or encourage you to do the very thing you're trying to avoid. Not cool.

2. You Can't Share Your Accomplishments

Besides maybe your mom or your SO, your friends should be some of the first people you notify when things are going well. So take note if you keep your accomplishments on the down low. "If you're worried to tell a friend about a new accomplishment, triumph, or life event, you might want to look harder at that relationship," said health expert Rebecca Butler on MindBodyGreen.com. There may be some underlying competition or discomfort there that's only going to hold you back.

3. You're Never Your True Self

"Most of us have a tendency to rein in certain parts of ourselves around certain people, but when it comes to a true best friend, you should be able to let it all hang out — or at the very least, be able to be honest about who you are and what you feel," noted health writer Claire Hannum on SELF. If that's not the case, it may be time to move on to a friend group where you can truly be yourself.

4. They Seem Jealous Of You

Remember what I said about your so-called friend not supporting your positive change? "A friend ... who discourages you from making that change, or even threatens to stand in the way of it (because, perhaps, that person thinks it will threaten their importance in your life) is not a friend to keep," Horchow says. You want a friend who sees you as a separate and amazing person — not someone they compare themselves to.

5. You've Grown In Different Directions

I remember the moment I realized some of my high school friends and I had grown in different directions. It sucked, but moving on gave me the chance to be the new 20-something I found myself to be. "This can be such a bittersweet reality of young, intense friendships," Hannum said. "Maybe once you wanted the exact same things out of life, and now, your values are clashing. Sometimes that's just too impossible to ignore."

6. He Or She Is Constantly Letting You Down

A friendship shouldn't make your life stressful. So don't put up with a friend who constantly lets you down. As health writer Kassandra Brabaw said on Prevention, "... if she's always rescheduling, always late, and always forgets to call, then there might be a problem." This type of disrespect is simply not something you should have to deal with.

7. You Don't Get Anything Out Of It

If you've been friends with someone for a while, it can be difficult to pinpoint exactly what it is you get out of the relationship. Maybe your friend seems to be happy and content with how things are, but do you? "Friendships are supposed to be meaningful in some way for both parties,"said Butler. "If you hesitate when you have time scheduled, you might want to stop and look into that feeling."

8. There's Some Kind Of Unknown Tension

You wouldn't put up with tension in your personal life, so take note if you're putting up with it from a friend. "Usually, these end up exploding before they get any better or worse," Hannum said. "Sometimes, that confrontation leads to understanding each other better than ever, which is awesome. Other times, though, it leads to the grim realization that your friendship isn't working anymore."

9. Your Friend Doesn't Expand Your Horizons

If you truly want friends to push you forward — instead of holding you back — then look to surround yourself with friends who push the boundaries. Look for people who introduce you to interesting ideas, or who are always down to try something new. It's perfectly OK to (politely) drop anyone who doesn't fit the bill.

10. It Feels Like A Waste Of Time

We all need those pals who pop over to say hi, or to chat about the weather. But it should never be at the expense of doing things that matter to you. Think of what you can accomplish when you clear up that schedule, and devote yourself only to relationships more worth your while.

11. When It's All About The Drama

Occasional disagreements are to be expected, and good friends will weather them together. And yet, in the same way you don't want to clog your calendar with pointless relationships, you also don't want to bog yourself down with drama, according to Hannum.

Life's too short to be held back by less-than-stellar relationships. So don't be afraid to move on from the ones that are stale, toxic, or not worth your time.

Images: Pexels (12)

RSS
Blog Preview
Cling to the old
Posted by Owner Maria Bolt

Some will desperately cling onto the old.
Some will desperately drown in the quagmire of the fears they...Read More
Recent Comments
"Shared love it"
In: Raising Vibrations
by: Owner Theresa F Koch
"sharing sis"
In: New Path
by: Owner Theresa F Koch
"great posts wish I could share them"
In: Unification of LIGHT ~ worldwide .
by: Owner Theresa F Koch
"Love this"
In: Month of August
by: Owner Theresa F Koch
"Thank you sis"
In: keep calm
by: Owner Theresa F Koch
"PRAYERS FOR YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND"
In: Alzheimer's disease
by: MZ LEGGS
"Yes I agree very true my sister"
In: When And Where Is The Veil Thinnest? The Best Times And Locations To Connect With Spirit
by: Owner Theresa F Koch
"yes very true its all of it I see all.. i am very..."
In: When And Where Is The Veil Thinnest? The Best Times And Locations To Connect With Spirit
by: Owner Maria Bolt
"THANK U SIS XXX"
In: Alzheimer's disease
by: Owner Maria Bolt
"wow sis, very good article ,made me sad for what your are going..."
In: Alzheimer's disease
by: Owner Theresa F Koch
"This is a great article ,thank you for posting it sis"
In: COVIT-19
by: Owner Theresa F Koch
"Thank you for using my poem sis, I love you"
In: BIRTH MOTHER
by: Owner Theresa F Koch
"Thank you sis wonderful post"
In: Wings of hope
by: Owner Theresa F Koch
"THANK YOU XX"
In: MID LIFE WOMAN from 'THE SEA IN YOU'
by: Owner Maria Bolt
"This was awesome Sis, It was something I needed to read. Bless You..."
In: MID LIFE WOMAN from 'THE SEA IN YOU'
by: DiDi
"Thanks, Sis for this information. As you know I'm no spring chicken and..."
In: IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT – CORONAVIRUS:
by: DiDi
"There is a no alcohol version in Herb group"
In: How to Make Hand Sanitizer
by: Owner Theresa F Koch
"Love this post sis, thank you"
In: How to Make Hand Sanitizer
by: Owner Theresa F Koch
"to look back I wonder what Paul sees now that he sees all...."
In: MID LIFE WOMAN from 'THE SEA IN YOU'
by: DiDi

Our Members
Chazz York
Joined: 3 Hours Ago
Danny
Joined: 15 Hours Ago
Isabel
Joined: 16 Hours Ago
JAZZY
Joined: Aug 6th
Mzpassionate 1 TEST PAGE
Joined: Aug 2nd
Hippy
Joined: Jul 26th
Doretta
Joined: Jul 26th
MZ LEGGS
Joined: Jul 21st
Chaz Test Page Chaz
Joined: Jul 17th
DIAMOND LOVE
Joined: Jul 16th
Dan
Joined: Jun 14th
LADYJAZZY
Joined: May 7th
Teris Themes Helela
Joined: Feb 29th
Ruth
Joined: Jan 15th
TEST PAGE
Joined: Nov 6th
Vickie williams Tracy
Joined: Mar 5th 2019
Terri Johnson
Joined: Dec 17th 2018
Gypsygal
Joined: Oct 27th 2017
Bob
Joined: Nov 29th 2016
DiDi
Joined: Sep 2nd 2016
Owner Maria Bolt
Joined: Jan 29th 2015
Owner Theresa F Koch
Joined: Jan 28th 2015
Sister Site
Click image to visit our sister site!
Theme Box
Who is on line
Members Birthday
Vickie williams
Birthday: 8/28/1973
Mzpassionate 1
Birthday: 8/9/1965
Owner Maria Bolt
Birthday: 8/19/1950
TEST PAGE
Birthday: 8/19/1950
Website Fund
Groups
Meditation</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 5
The action or practice of meditating. "a life of meditation" synonyms: contemplation, thought, thinking, musing, pondering, consideration, reflection, deliberation, rumination, brooding, reverie, brown study, concentration; prayer."cultivating the...
Customs of the World</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 6
The world is filled with unique and vibrant cultures.
Poetry and Writings from the Heart</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 6
A online space for writers.
Paranormal Glimpses </a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 7
Let us take a trip into the unknown the place to share Photos and info into a ghostly realm
Prayers</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 5
May we encourage each other, and build one another up in every circumstance. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
Gypsies</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 11
Hear the word gypsy, and the image of a scarved fortune-teller likely pops into your mind. Or maybe you think of a band of traveling musicians and dancers in...
Animals we Love</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 10
The place to share stories of the animals we love
Healing Modalities</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 11
Throughout the history of mankind, there have been many different energy healing modalities practiced around the world
Crafts </a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 5
Fun and simple crafts ideas, sewing and knitting patterns, scrapbooking projects, and creative crafts for any budget and skill level.
Gifts from God</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 10
Word of wisdom. Word of knowledge. Faith. Gifts of healings. Miracles. Prophecy. Distinguishing between spirits. Tongues.
Favorite Recipes</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 7
Lets share recipes we love, get cooking
Gypsy Cafe</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Maria-Bolt/'>Owner Maria Bolt</a>
Members: 7
Friends Gather to enjoy a great cup of coffee and Chat your Hearts out!
Monsters & Myths</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 7
Over the years, we have been entranced, baffled, tantalized and even shocked by the monsters of well-known mythologies, be it the ubiquitous dragon, the gargantuan Kraken or the boisterous...
Angels</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 10
An angel is generally a supernatural being found in various religions and mythologies.
Gardening, Small Farm,Survival Techniques</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 5
In recent years, homesteading and self-sufficiency have become popular—even trendy, where do you start?
 Animal hauntings and Spirits</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 7
If human beings, with all their vices, have a future life, assuredly animals, who are so much more pure do as they stand closer to the veil
metaphysics</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Theresa-F-Koch/'>Owner Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 7
Just as physics deals with the laws that govern the physical world (such as those of gravity or the properties.
Medicine Women and Shamans </a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Maria-Bolt/'>Owner Maria Bolt</a>
Members: 7
Shamanism has been termed "humanity's oldest and universal expression of religiosity,!!!"
Links to enjoy</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Maria-Bolt/'>Owner Maria Bolt</a>
Members: 9
Please add links You may Have.
Traits of an Empath”</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Owner-Maria-Bolt/'>Owner Maria Bolt</a>
Members: 11
An empath is someone who is highly sensitive to the energy and emotions.