Blog Entries
20 Things People With Childhood Emotional Neglect Often Say
Category: Member Blogs
Tags: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/

Childhood Emotional Neglect is an ordinary, unremarkable experience that happens in legions of homes, to legions of children, every single day. Many such homes are loving and caring in every other way.

It is also a powerful, painful process that leaves its mark on the child, who will grow up to suffer its results. Compounding the problem is the strong likelihood that the child, now an adult, will have no memory of what went wrong.

Childhood Emotional Neglect or CEN happens when your parents fail to notice and respond enough to your emotions and emotional needs as they raise you.

It does not need to be a dramatic failure, although it can be in some families. In fact, itís often an exceedingly subtle, unnoticeable, unmemorable failure of which no one is aware.

In many families, the parents simply fail to notice their child is having a feeling, fail to validate their childís feelings and fail to ask their child about his/her feelings. Not necessarily all of the time, but too much of the time.

Believe it or not, yes, that is all it takes to leave the mark of Childhood Emotional Neglect upon the child.

The variety of emotionally neglectful families is infinite. They can be warm or cold, wealthy or struggling, loving or angry or depressed. They can be single-parent, two-parent or with a stay-at-home mom or dad. None of those things even matter. All that matters is that your parents fail to notice, ask or respond to your feelings enough.

Just as every CEN family is different, so is every CEN adult. CEN folks can look completely varied from the outside so much that they appear to have nothing in common. Yet on the inside, they have some extraordinary things in common.

All CEN adults share a unique pattern of struggles which are so woven into their sense of themselves that most believe that everyone feels this way.

The 10 Characteristics of Those Who Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect

  • Feelings of emptiness
  • Counter-dependence
  • Lack of self-knowledge
  • Poor compassion for self (probably plenty for others)
  • A tendency toward guilt and shame
  • Self-directed anger and self-blame
  • A deep sense of being flawed, or different from everyone else
  • Struggles with self-care
  • Struggles with self-discipline
  • Difficulties identifying, naming, and understanding how emotions work in oneself and others

How Did You Get This Way?

So you grew up with parents who ignored your feelings. You realized very young that your emotions were not welcome in your childhood home. How did you cope? Your young brain knew just what to do. It built a wall to block off your feelings. That way you could ignore and squelch them. That way your anger, hurt, sadness or need would not bother your parents or yourself.

Now an adult, you are living with your feelings on the other side of that wall. They are blocked off, and you can sense it. Somewhere deep down you can feel that something is not right. Something is missing. This makes you feel empty, different from other people, and somehow, deeply flawed.

Having gone to your parents for emotional support and validation as a child, you too often walked away painfully empty-handed and alone. So now itís hard for you to ask anyone for anything, and you are afraid to expect support and help from anyone.

Since you grew up with little awareness of emotions, you are now uncomfortable any time strong feelings arise in yourself or anyone else. You do your best to avoid feelings altogether, perhaps even positive ones.

Feeling flawed, empty and alone and out of touch with your feelings, itís hard to feel you belong anywhere. Itís hard to know what you want, feel or need. Itís hard to believe that it matters. Itís hard to feel that you matter.

As you read the 22 statements below, please think about whether you say, or feel, them often. If so, do not be alarmed or discouraged. There are answers and solutions to this problem!

Childhood Emotional Neglect is not a one-way street to nowhere. In fact, it is just the opposite. You can reverse it from the inside, and it will change your view of yourself and your life forever.

20 Things People With Childhood Emotional Neglect Often Say

  1. I donít want to intrude.
  2. I donít need any help.
  3. Whatever you want is fine with me.
  4. I donít have anything to say.
  5. I donít feel anything.
  6. Iím sorry.
  7. Iím lazy
  8. Whatís the point?
  9. I donít need anything.
  10. It doesnít matter to me.
  11. I donít need anyone.
  12. Itís my fault.
  13. I donít know how I feel.
  14. I can do this on my own.
  15. I can handle it.
  16. Iím not as smart/attractive/capable as other people.
  17. I donít fit in anywhere.
  18. Why canít you just be happy?
  19. Just stop feeling that way.
  20. I donít know what I want

I have heard thousands of CEN people offhandedly make these comments a countless number of times. The startling reality is that very few of them are true!

How To Stop Saying ó and Believing ó These 20 Things

  • Start listening to yourself. When you do, you will begin to hear what you say. This will start to make you more aware of how you feel about yourself and life. This will show you how CEN is distorting your sense of yourself and the world, and hopefully, help you realize that you must change this.
  • Learn everything you can about Childhood Emotional Neglect. See the resources below to understand how CEN happens, why itís so unmemorable, and how it has played out in your adult life. Plus how to heal, because you absolutely can!
  • Get yourself on the CEN Recovery Path. Getting yourself on this healthy, enriching path involves declaring war on your CEN. Make a decision to treat your emotions the opposite of how your parents treated them. Start valuing and paying attention to your feelings and learning emotional skills.

By treating yourself and your feelings in a new and different way, you will begin to feel a new and different way. Changing how you feel on the inside affects what you say on the outside. ďI donít know what I wantĒ becomes ďI know exactly what I want.Ē And knowing who you are, how you feel, and what you want is one giant step toward happiness.

RSS
Blog Preview
If You See Crows Often, This Is What It Means
Posted by Maria

  • The crow has always been associated with both positive and negative symbolism. This trickster of a bird shows up to let you know...Read More
Recent Comments
"Cool sis love this"
In: If You See Crows Often, This Is What It Means
by: Theresa F Koch
"Thank you Xx"
In: Dear Sad One
by: Maria
"Your posts are reminding me of the foster kids I worked with great..."
In: Dear Sad One
by: Theresa F Koch
"Sharing sis, love you"
In: The Ones Who Feel ďDifferentĒ
by: Theresa F Koch
"Not only do I love this article but the picture too"
In: The Deeper Meaning Of The Dreamworld
by: Theresa F Koch
"Sharing this too sis great"
In: You Are Not Broken, You Are Breaking Through
by: Theresa F Koch
"ok ..cool"
In: Numerology Meaning Of 3, 33, 333 & 3333
by: Maria
"Love ya thank you sis"
In: November & The Magic Of 11:11
by: Theresa F Koch
"Sharing this"
In: Numerology Meaning Of 3, 33, 333 & 3333
by: Theresa F Koch
"It Has alot to do with not changing any one and allow space..."
In: 8 Things You Should Say To Your Best Friend Right Now
by: Maria
"Its like working on a Marrige LOL, Some times you get it right..."
In: 8 Things You Should Say To Your Best Friend Right Now
by: Maria
"This is a great article sis"
In: What Harm Can Attachment Spirits Actually Do?
by: Theresa F Koch
"Love you sis thank you"
In: Bless Your Water Ė Energize Water and Products
by: Theresa F Koch
"That is because you see with in the body you can tell when someone..."
In: How to See Auras
by: Theresa F Koch
"nice one ... still have trouble seeing them.."
In: How to See Auras
by: Maria
"True as can Be !!"
In: 3 reasons why a soul sisters better than a best friend
by: Maria
"This is true good read !"
In: Top 10 Health Benefits of Foot Massage and Reflexology
by: Maria
"Thank you for sharing !!"
In: This is an old-time practice
by: Maria

Who is on line
Members Birthday
Arlie
Birthday: 12/14/1957
THEMES
Birthday: 12/10/1953
Website Fund
Our Members
BaileyRae
Joined: Nov 8th
Misty
Joined: Nov 6th
Vickie williams Arlie
Joined: Jun 21st
Tracy
Joined: Mar 5th
Terri Johnson
Joined: Dec 17th
Sharon
Joined: Nov 16th 2018
Gypsygal
Joined: Oct 27th 2017
THEMES
Joined: Nov 29th 2016
DiDi
Joined: Sep 2nd 2016
Maria
Joined: Jan 29th 2015
Theresa F Koch
Joined: Jan 28th 2015
Groups
Traits of an EmpathĒ</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Maria/'>Maria</a>
Members: 4
An empath is someone who is highly sensitive to the energy and emotions.
ODDS & Ends Of Themes</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Maria/'>Maria</a>
Members: 9
what ever Themes!
Links to enjoy</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Maria/'>Maria</a>
Members: 9
Please add links You may Have.
Campfire & Fireplace Stories</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Sharon/'>Sharon</a>
Members: 4
Podcast & written stories, sit and relax while you read or listen to a good tale.
Medicine Women and Shamans </a><br> by <a href='/profile/Maria/'>Maria</a>
Members: 5
Shamanism has been termed "humanity's oldest and universal expression of religiosity," and its cross-cultural presence among hunter/gatherer societies suggest a connection to the evolution of the brain. In fact,...
metaphysics</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Theresa-F-Koch/'>Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 6
Just as physics deals with the laws that govern the physical world (such as those of gravity or the properties of waves), metaphysics describes what is beyond physicsóthe nature...
Fantasy THEMES </a><br> by <a href='/profile/Maria/'>Maria</a>
Members: 8
About the CSS code for the THEMES. Just add your Own graphic
 Animal hauntings and Spirits</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Theresa-F-Koch/'>Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 4
If human beings, with all their vices, have a future life, assuredly animals, who are so much more pure do as they stand closer to the veil
Survival Techniques</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Theresa-F-Koch/'>Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 3
Are we living in the last days? Earthquakes. Severe weather. Asteroids. Volcanoes. UFOs. Nuclear attack on the USA. Where is all this going?
Angels</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Theresa-F-Koch/'>Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 4
An angel is generally a supernatural being found in various religions and mythologies. In Abrahamic religions and Zoroastrianism, angels are often depicted as benevolent celestial beings who act as...
HOLIDAY THEMES</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Maria/'>Maria</a>
Members: 8
THE FOUR SEASONS
GYPSY THEMES</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Maria/'>Maria</a>
Members: 9
About the CSS code for the THEMES. Just add your Own graphic
Monsters & Myths</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Theresa-F-Koch/'>Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 4
Over the years, we have been entranced, baffled, tantalized and even shocked by the monsters of well-known mythologies, be it the ubiquitous dragon, the gargantuan Kraken or the boisterous...
Gypsy Cafe</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Maria/'>Maria</a>
Members: 3
Friends Gather to enjoy a great cup of coffee and Chat your Hearts out!
Favorite Recipes</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Theresa-F-Koch/'>Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 5
Lets share recipes we love, get cooking
Gifts from God</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Theresa-F-Koch/'>Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 3
Word of wisdom. Word of knowledge. Faith. Gifts of healings. Miracles. Prophecy. Distinguishing between spirits. Tongues.
Crafts </a><br> by <a href='/profile/Theresa-F-Koch/'>Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 4
Fun and simple crafts ideas, sewing and knitting patterns, scrapbooking projects, and creative crafts for any budget and skill level.
Healing Modalities</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Theresa-F-Koch/'>Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 4
Throughout the history of mankind, there have been many different energy healing modalities practiced around the world
Animals we Love</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Theresa-F-Koch/'>Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 5
The place to share stories of the animals we love
Gypsies</a><br> by <a href='/profile/Theresa-F-Koch/'>Theresa F Koch</a>
Members: 4
Hear the word gypsy, and the image of a scarved fortune-teller likely pops into your mind. Or maybe you think of a band of traveling musicians and dancers in...