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8 Things You Should Say To Your Best Friend Right Now
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Tags: Marie Bolt Things You Should Say To Your Best Friend Right Now

Knowing what to say in order to brighten up your best friend’s life is what a true BFF is for. Who doesn’t need a little pick-me-up from time to time?

This girl is your anchor. She is the one you go to for everything and never gets tired of listening to your problems. She loves you like a sister and scolds you like a mother. She always has your best interests at heart and all she wants is for you to be happy.

Sometimes, we take for granted these amazing people in our life. We get so used to the idea of having someone to vent to 24/7 that we forget to tell them how much they are appreciated.

They don’t need to be there for us but they always are. They don’t need to be available to us at all hours of the night but they always are. And why? Because they love us unconditionally. That’s what a best friend is for.

And if you love your bestie and can’t imagine your life without her, make sure she knows how you feel. She probably already does but it never hurts to say it and it is always nice to feel appreciated.

If you want your best friend to know how much you cherish her and her friendship, here are 8 beautiful things you should tell her so she always feels appreciated and loved.

1. You are my person and you will always be my person.

8 Things You Should Say To Your Best Friend Right NowWe are like one. When you cry, I cry. When you’re happy, I’m happier! There is nobody who knows me like you do. And there is nobody I wish would know me the way you know me.

We are so close, that I can honestly say we’re family. You’re blood to me. The things we have been through and the way we always found a way out of every curveball life threw at us makes us bonded for life.

I can’t imagine having gone through the things I have gone through with anyone else by my side but you! You are the only person I want to always have near me, in all of life’s ups and downs.

And I know you feel the same way about me. That’s what makes us such a great team. I am so happy that we both know what it’s like to have a sister, because of each other.

You are precious to me and I will always value your friendship above anything else. After all—you are my person.

2. Stay strong, better things are coming, I promise.

8 Things You Should Say To Your Best Friend Right NowLife is no picnic, I know. There are things I wish you didn’t have to go through but I guess life had other plans. And guess what? It only made you stronger! I didn’t think that was possible but now I see it is.

Don’t ever think you’re not doing okay. You are better than okay! And don’t you ever feel like you’re not good enough. You’re perfect! It makes me sad how you don’t see your worth sometimes. You are so strong and so brave. You are the person I go to when I need to feel a smile on my face, don’t ever forget that!

Just because life threw you for a loop doesn’t mean it’s going to keep tossing you around, because it won’t. The hard part is over. You have survived and I am so proud of your heart and bravery. Not a lot of people could stay as strong as you, given what you’ve gone through.

So keep your head up, sister! I’ll always be there to hold your hand and together we can conquer anything. You will never have to go through anything alone for as long as I live. I love you!

3. You are so beautiful, inside and out.

8 Things You Should Say To Your Best Friend Right NowDon’t let stupid, irrelevant people tell you otherwise! You are the most beautiful person I have ever met and I don’t only mean the exterior. Your heart is made of gold!

There is nothing you wouldn’t do for those you love. There is no river you wouldn’t swim and no mountain you wouldn’t climb. Your love knows no bounds and that is the most precious thing about you.

Never allow anyone to make you feel lesser than you are. You are too good for this world and those who know you will never take you for granted. If only there were more people like you in this world, it would be a much more beautiful place.

4. Make good choices.

8 Things You Should Say To Your Best Friend Right NowYou are too great a person to let yourself get knocked down by all the negativity in this world. Don’t succumb under pressure. Make sure you make good, smart choices that your mom would be proud of.

Never give in to peer pressure. You are better than that and you are perfectly capable of making smart decisions without anyone’s help. I’ll always be there when you need a helping hand but you know you’ve got this.

If you ever find yourself making bad choices, please make sure that I’m there with you, so that we can laugh about it like crazy and tell our grandkids one day! They won’t believe how nuts their grandmas once were.

Always be yourself. Know that you are enough. Appreciate yourself enough to walk away from people and situations that make you feel anything less. Good people will love you for you and not for what they need you to be.

5. Be proud of what you’ve been through.

8 Things You Should Say To Your Best Friend Right NowThere is nobody more courageous than you. And every time life knocked you down, you punched it right back and proved what a badass boss lady you are.

Be proud of the things that brought you to where you are. Without those hardships, you wouldn’t know the things you know now and you wouldn’t be the strong, ambitious, careful and confident woman you are today.

Whatever awaits you, you’ll embrace it and deal with it with grace and poise. And I’ll be by your side to celebrate your victories. And there are many more on the horizon. Just stay brave and proud. Things have a way of working themselves out.

6. Laugh it all out.

8 Things You Should Say To Your Best Friend Right NowWe are far too close to let an argument bring us down. I know that there are so many things waiting for us in the future and there is nothing that can possibly jeopardize our friendship.

If we ever get into a fight, let’s always remember that it’s you and I against the problem and not you and I against each other. We are a team. If you ever walk away from me after a fight, you always know where to find me. My door will always be open to you.

We are far too good friends to let silly arguments ruin what we have. I think we both know that. I’m sure we’ll laugh about whatever silly fight we go through in a week or two. Let’s never take ourselves too seriously and always laugh at the end of every day. That’s what we do best.

7. I love you.

8 Things You Should Say To Your Best Friend Right NowI have learned that it is always important to tell those you love how you feel about them. You may never get another chance. So let me tell you something… I love you more than I thought one could love a friend. Only you’re so much more than that.

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You are my missing puzzle piece. My soulmate and my partner in mischief! The other part of me that I could never live without.

In all honesty, I think you are such an incredible person and I am so blessed to live life alongside you. You have taught me so much about life, love and friendship, and being around you makes my heart happy!

I love you and I always will!

8. Thank you.

8 Things You Should Say To Your Best Friend Right NowThank you for being my soul sister. Thank you for putting up with me even when I’m at my worst. Thank you for always finding time for me and never having to check your calendar. I am so thankful that you just drop everything and come to my aid whenever I need you.

Thank you for making me see what I need to work on, without hurting my feelings. Thank you for never letting me settle and for making sure I am always my best self.

I don’t know how I’d survive in this world without you, so thank you for being you. You are my person and my sister and I love you more than words can say.

For my best Friend and Sister Marie

The Lost Art of Silence: Get Quiet and You’ll Know What You Need to Do Tags: The Lost Art of Silence: Get Quiet and You’ll Know What You Need to

“Silence isn’t empty. It’s full of answers.” ~Unknown

Last week I was visiting the Scandinave, a Scandinavian-style bath spa, with my mom, when it struck me how rare true silence has become. By true silence, I mean silence in the form of not speaking, but also silence in the form of reflection, pause, a capacity to become still, a capacity to just be and not do.

The art of silence was lost. Even at these baths, where the goal was to disconnect and enjoy the stillness of nature, there was constant chatter among groups with voices audible across the pool. It didn’t matter that signs were posted around the area, encouraging silence:

Honor Silence.
Speak Quietly.
Absolute Silence.

As a society, we have forgotten how to become quiet, how to become still. We are always on the move, always busy, always doing. We’ve forgotten how to just be.

This lack of silence pervades our lives. It’s in the moments filled with meaningless small talk about the weather to avoid simply sitting in silence. It’s in the moments on the subway, filling our ears with music, busying our minds with our phones, to avoid simply sitting in silence.

As a yoga teacher and practitioner, I have seen it showing up in the form of teachers filling classes with an endless stream of cueing. I have seen it showing up during savasana, the final resting pose, which gets cut short to avoid the anxiety of watching students fidget in the uncomfortable silence.

To me, this is a tragedy.

Silence creates space in our lives. It allows us to pause between moments, to process and reflect, to see beyond the surface into the depths of our lives. When we cut out silence, we cheat ourselves out of the fullness that life has to offer. Only in the silence can we truly hear the whispers coming from within us, urging us towards our highest potential.

Silence breeds deep connection, not only to ourselves, but to the world around us. The energy of a silent room filled with people is almost palpable. In silence, we are all powerfully connected to our higher selves, to the universe, and to each other.

For one moment at the spa, I felt this. Sitting in absolute silence in the sauna, silence brought a group of strangers together. We were all present, sharing the same moment, connecting with the world and not with our phones. It gave us space to turn inward, to take stock of our internal landscape, to let go of what no longer served us, and to renegotiate who and how we wanted to be in the world.

Without silence, we keep moving forward, not really knowing where we are or where we want to go.

I came away from that day of silence and quietude with a new awareness of what was happening in my life. In those moments of silence, I could hear my inner voice growing louder. Where it was once only a whisper, easy enough to ignore, it suddenly became deafening.

After a day of silence, I had no other option but to face it. I went home that day and had a hard conversation. Potentially one of the hardest I’ve ever had.

I realized that I hadn’t been honoring myself in my relationship because I had been afraid of losing something that I loved. My partner and I weren’t on the same page with what the relationship meant to us and what we wanted from it. Unintentionally, I lost pieces of myself to the relationship—by being the one to compromise, by being the one to follow, by being the one to give in. In this way, I put my relationship with myself last.

I stopped cultivating things I loved that were separate from him, in order for us to spend time together. I didn’t go out of my way to make my own plans on the weekend.

In the silence, I heard my inner voice becoming louder and clearer. I couldn’t go on feeling this way or being this way. The silence gave me the space to hear what my heart was saying and the strength to listen. Something had to change.

I had to stop sacrificing my own needs and desires just to please someone else. I had to start standing up for myself and making it clear that what I wanted mattered too. I had to start making my own plans and doing things just for myself, and not always waiting to see if he had other plans in mind. I needed to be me, wholeheartedly me, first.

It was scary to have that conversation, to feel like I might lose it all, by voicing what was in my heart. I was scared of what would happen if I stopped going along with it, if I started putting myself first. But I couldn’t avoid the conversation anymore. The silence roared.

Perhaps that is why we avoid silence—because once you hear the voice in your heart calling out, you can’t ignore it. You can’t go on denying what’s in your heart once you create the space to hear it out. And that can be scary.

Usually the voice within wants you to do the hard thing. The voice doesn’t want you to settle. It doesn’t want you to give up. It wants you to live to your highest potential. It wants you to climb mountains. It wants you to dream big and live big. And living that way isn’t always the easy thing. It’s not always the comfortable thing.

Leaning into silence might seem scary. It might even be painful at first because your mind and body will fight it. But I urge you not to run from the silence any longer. Embrace it. Allow it to create space in your life, because it will transform your life. Ultimately, the silence pushed me farther into the life I dream of, into a life of passion, of meaning, of giving myself my best shot.

Here are some ways you can rediscover the lost art of silence:

1. Start small.

The more time you spend in silence, the more powerfully it will impact your life, but diving straight into a ten-day silent retreat might not be the best approach. In fact, it might have the opposite effect.

Instead, slowly introduce small pockets of silence into your day-to-day life. If you drive on your daily commute, try turning off the radio. If you take public transit, take out the headphones and put away the phone. Feel this silence and notice what’s happening around you and within you.

2. Set aside time for meditation.

Block out a specific time in your day or week for a meditation practice. Perhaps it is first thing in the morning, or before you go to bed at night. Set a timer for five or ten minutes, sit or lie down with your eyes closed, and simply breathe. Watch your breath move in and out of your body.

3. Use mantras.

While at the baths, I used mantras to move into the silence. My mantra of the day was “Life flows through me with ease.”

In the silence, I heard myself fighting against the ebbs and flows of life—holding on to expectations, worrying about how things might turn out, resisting where things were going.

Sometimes our minds see silence as an opportunity to berate us with thoughts, thoughts about not being good enough, about missing out, about being in a hurry, about not having enough time. Our minds will be particularly active if we aren’t used to the silence. Your mind will fight the silence. A mantra can help you to quiet the mind and settle into the silence.

4. Use movement, such as yoga.

If our minds are particularly active and we have a hard time just sitting in silence, we can start with gentle, mindful movement to ease ourselves into it.

If we aren’t used to sitting in silence, our bodies can get very antsy. Silence can make us anxious. By using movement, we can soothe our nervous system and our minds, to make it easier to ease into a state of being.

When I first got to the baths, I used a few neck and shoulder stretches to relax my body for stillness. This focus on the body in turn helped ease my mind into the silence.

Embrace the lost art of silence. Your highest self will thank you.

24 Things All Extremely Self-Aware People Know and Do Tags: 24 Things All Extremely Self-Aware People Know and Do

1) They take responsibility

Some people think it’s “harder” to take responsibility, and “easier” to blame other people.

Really? Is it? So it’s “easier” to blame other people, even though blaming other people will never, ever get you what you want?

Doesn’t sound too “easy” to me.

Taking responsibility is liberating because you realize that you can actually do something about it.

I blamed a lot of other people when I first started writing because my posts weren’t accepted into their publications. I thought I knew better than them. I thought I “deserved” to be featured in their publication because I was clearly good enough.

Well, clearly, I wasn’t. And it was only once I took responsibility that I started to write more, and write smarter, and just become better.

That’s “easier” than blaming others.

2) They’re kind instead of nice

The word “nice” has roots in the following:
• Foolish
• Stupid
• Senseless
• Careless
• Clumsy
• Weak
• Poor
• Needy
• Ignorant
• Unaware

The word “kind” has roots in the following:
• Deliberately doing good to others
• Innate
• Natural
• Compassionate
• Loving
• Full of tenderness

I know which list I prefer.

And I know which list I prefer to practice on myself.

3) They know their beliefs aren’t real

I want you to think about your most important belief. One that guides your life. One that you lean on when you need something to lean on.

I want you to remove it from your head. I want you to hold it in your hand. I want you to close that hand.

Now, open that hand. What’s in that hand?

Your belief, right?


There’s nothing in your hand.

Your most important belief, the belief that guides you, the belief you lean on... it’s not real.

So... why does it seem so hard to let go of them sometimes? Why does it seem so hard to change? Why wouldn’t we just let go and take on different beliefs all the time, depending on what we need?

What about the beliefs that aren’t useful to you? What’s stopping you from letting them go?

A belief that you need them?

4) They don’t take their results personally

Some of my writing gets read by thousands of people. Some gets read by hundreds. Some gets read by tens. Some gets read by a few. Some doesn’t get read at all.

What would happen if I took all of that personally? I’d be exhausted. I’d be forever up and down and then up again and then down again and... man. That’s unsustainable.

Any feedback I get isn’t about me because it’s about my work. And I’m separate from my work.

And knowing I’m separate from my work allows me to learn from the negative things people say. It allows me to become a better writer. It allows me to become a better person.

5) They know they need certainty and uncertainty

Humans need certainty and uncertainty. This is a fact.

Too much certainty = boredom.

Too much uncertainty = anxiety.

It’s good to be certain about your health, about your relationships, about your finances.

But imagine being certain about every single minute of every single day of your entire life. How boring would that be? How depressing would that be?

We need both.

6) They know they’re more than their thoughts

You’re the one who experiences your thoughts. You’re the one who hears them. You’re the one who can control them.

So... you must be something else. Something different. Something more.

That means that you’re not required to do whatever your thoughts wish for you to do. You don’t have to obey them. They’re not in charge — you are. The real you.

It’s like this quote from Michael A. Singer, author of The Surrender Experiment and The Untethered Soul:

“The day you decide you are more interested in being aware of your thoughts than you are in the thoughts themselves — that is the day you will find your way out.”

7) They know they’re more than their feelings

Same thing as being more than your thoughts.

Your feelings aren’t there to tell you how to act, and they’re not there to tell you whether or not to act at all. They’re there to tell you what’s important to you.

I have another quote for you, this time from Victor Frankl, author of Man’s Search For Meaning:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.”

8) They know what’s important to them

When I first wrote everything down that was important to me — with the help of a mentor — and put it in order from most important to least important, and wrote down why these things were important to me, I looked at my list and had this thought: “that’s me.”

Do you know how encouraging that is? How freeing? How much confidence it gave me? And yet people will find all sorts of excuses to not do this, even though the whole thing takes less time than watching an episode of something on Netflix.

I did this with a friend recently. He wrote down everything that was important to him — not to his parents, or to his friends, or what he thought should be important to him — and we put it in order, and we talked about why those things were important to him.

He looked at his list and said this to me:

“Oh my god... I know why I’m not happy.”

So he changed. Now he’s happy.

It’s not “a lot more complicated” than that.

9) They live by what’s important to them

If you know what’s important to you, but still refuse to live by what’s important to you... that’s going to hurt.

I know it hurts because it’s exactly what I did.

It’s exactly what I did because I still valued other people’s opinions of me over my own. Not random people though. The people closest to me.

I still thought I needed their permission. Their approval. I still thought they needed to wholeheartedly and enthusiastically and irrevocably support my every decision.

It was only when I got tired of my own bullpoo, and tired of still not living the life I kept daydreaming about, that I actually changed.

Be grateful if you’re finally getting tired of your own bullshit.

10) They never waste a perfectly good mistake

I learned this from Michael Houlihan and Bonnie Harvey, the entrepreneurs behind one of the biggest wine brands in the world — Barefoot Wine. They say that there’s no excuse for wasting a perfectly good mistake, because every mistake is beautiful, because now you’ve got the opportunity to never make the same mistake again.

Never making the same mistake again is real self-awareness. It’s funny though — it’s another one of those things that people say is “hard.” It’s “hard” to admit to your own mistakes. But... is it? Because what’s the alternative? Making the same mistake over and over and over and never moving forward and never becoming who you know you could be?

Does that sound “easier”?

11) They live in reality

I really wanted to just quit my 9-5. Even though I had no savings and hadn’t started making any money on the side. I didn’t care about that because I hated my job so much and I just wanted to escape.

I didn’t want to live in reality, because the reality was that I couldn’t just quit. And that reality was painful. More painful than I’d be able to handle, I thought. So I just complained and sulked and took no action.

I didn’t want to accept my reality because wouldn’t that be admitting defeat? If I accepted it... then what? Where would my drive go? Didn’t I have to hate where I wanted to be to get to where I wanted to go?

No. Another myth.

It was only when I totally accepted that I wasn’t where I wanted to be — when I stopped judging myself for not being where I wanted to be — that I started working to get to where I wanted to be.

It’s only when you accept your reality — no matter how much you think you don’t like it — that you can change it.

12) They know that their opinion of who they are is more important than anyone else’s opinion of who they are

If other people’s opinions of you are more important to you than your own... then how can you expect to live a life that’s true to you? How can you expect to ever stop worrying about what other people think of you? How will you ever feel free?

Do you think your opinion of someone else should be more important than that person’s opinion of themselves? I doubt it. And yet... it’s somehow okay for other people’s opinions of you to be more important to you than your own?

Other people are allowed to be who they are, but you have to be who other people want you to be?

13) They know they’re allowed to put themselves first

If I asked you to write down a list of the important people in your life, would you write your own name?

If so, where would you write it? Right at the top? In the middle? At the bottom?

When I put other people above me is when I lived by their expectations instead of my own. It’s when I wanted their approval, their permission, their support. Actually, it’s not when I wanted it. It’s when I needed it. Well, when I believed I needed it.

And because I needed it... when I didn’t get it, I didn’t do the thing I wanted their permission to do.

That means I didn’t get what I wanted to get. All I got was frustration, and annoyance, and unhappiness.

Because I didn’t think it was ok to put myself first.

You have no control over other people so how can it be ok to put anybody else at the top of your list?

How can they be more important to you than you are?

14) They know that success can never be overrated

A girl said this to me on a date:

“Success is overrated.”



How can success be overrated?

I guess if you think of success as money, or things, or achievements... then yeah, maybe.

But that’s not what success is. Success is individual. Success is whatever success is to you.

For me, success is choice. Which is similar and different to freedom.

Success is being able to take the time to work hard when I want to. It’s when I’m able to take on a new project. It’s when I’m able to take a day off. It’s when I take an evening off to go watch an NBA game (I need to move to the US first). It’s when I can go on holiday with my (future) wife. It’s when I can pick my kids up from school and take them to basketball practice or chess club or ballet lessons or whatever it is they want to do.

Maximum choice = maximum success.

15) They know the difference between “very” and “too”

If you believe you’re very scared to do something, you leave yourself open to doing it.

If you believe you’re too scared to do something, you’ll never do it.

What story do you tell yourself?

16) They know they can’t become who they are if they’re scared to learn from who they’ve been

There have been times in your life when you’ve been all of who you really are.

What could you learn from that? The least you could learn is that you can be all of who you really are.

There have been times in your life when you haven’t been who you are.

What could you learn from that?

You could learn about what holds you back. You could learn about who you hold back around. You could learn about what makes you think pretending to be someone you’re not is a better option than being the real you.

Wouldn’t learning about those things help you to become you?

17) They know it’s less about “how to” and more about “what’s stopping me”

I get asked a lot of “how to” questions.

How to stop procrastinating, how to stay motivated, how to get over my ex.

All of them have the same answer: figure out why you’re doing it, and then stop doing it. And you probably won’t even need to “stop” — figuring out why is usually enough to stop.

But, of course, that’s not the answer people want. They already know that answer. So they need more.

Asking “what’s stopping me” questions can be scarier because they go deeper. “How to” questions are surface questions. They’re easy to answer. But “what’s stopping me” questions give answers like “because I’m scared” or “because I don’t want to” or “because I don’t know if I can.”

Admitting to those, confronting those... that’s self-awareness.

18) They don’t turn one problem into two

I do this way too often. Like when I’m driving and someone cuts me up. Or pulls out in front of me. Or is going too fucking slow.

They do these things and I get angry. Or pissed off. Or frustrated.

Why though? What good does it do? Do I think that’s going to somehow resolve the situation?

Surprisingly, it never does. Me getting angry at the person in front never makes them go faster. Who’da thought!

The first problem was the person in front of me driving slowly. Depending on how you define “problem”.

The second problem was me getting angry about the first.

Which of those is out of my control? Which of those is within my control?

There’s no need to turn one problem into two.

19) They know it’s not wrong to feel bad

Brené Brown said it best: we can’t selectively numb emotions.

If you numb sadness, you numb happiness. We can’t have true happiness without true sadness. Believing anything else means not believing in reality.

How many times do you hold back from really feeling? How many times do you feel sad, but then stop yourself? How many times do you try your best to avoid feeling sad?

Avoiding feeling sad is the same as avoiding feeling happy. Because if you don’t let yourself feel one, you’ll never feel the other. Not really. Not truly.

It’s not wrong to feel bad.

We’ve just decided that it is.

20) They don’t waste time failing at what they don’t want

Is there a bigger waste of time than failing at what you don’t want? I suppose continuing to fail at what you don’t want is even worse... and yet how many of us do that?

How many of us settle for that pain, rather than the pain of failing at something we do want? Even though I don’t think any sane person would argue that the pain of the latter is infinitely more worthwhile.

It’s just like Jim Carrey said:

“You can fail at what you don’t want. So you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

How simple.

21) They know there’s only one common denominator in all of their relationships

If you’ve ever said “why are all women [x]” or “why are all men [x]”, then I have some news for you: it’s not them.

It’s you.

Have you ever realized that you’re the one who’s picking these people? That you’re the one who’s choosing to spend time with them? That you’re the one who’s choosing these particular people to get to know better?

I only know this because this is exactly what I was like. And I still don’t think I’m completely past it.

All the women I’d been with and were dating seemed to be “complicated” or “flakey” or “not sure about what they wanted.”

I was convinced that this was true. That all women were just like this. I never even considered, never even thought, not for a moment, that maybe, just maybe... it had something to do with me.

Because of course it couldn’t be me! How could it possibly have been me? It was them! Their fault!



And let’s just say that was true. It’s not, but let’s say it was. Let’s say it was all their fault. How does that help? Is that a useful belief?

Or is it a more useful belief to actually look within and understand why I’m choosing who I’m choosing?

22) They don’t say the word “don’t”

Don’t think of a blue tree.

Yeah. Exactly.

The unconscious mind can’t handle the word “don’t.” Because “don’t think of a blue tree” essentially means “think of ANYTHING other than a blue tree.

Anything? Anything at all? That’s almost infinity things. It’s actually infinity minus one — the blue tree.

Because choosing from almost infinity things is somewhat difficult, the mind goes in the one direction you’ve given it: the blue tree.


How many times have you thought something similar to the following:

“DON’T mess up.”

“DON’T think about that.”

Or even...

“I DON’T want to fail.”

I don’t want to fail. Where do you think the mind does when you think that?

I know where it goes.

But don’t believe me.

23) They’re grateful to the people who’ve been a part of their life

Every person who’s been in your life — every person who’s loved you, who’s liked you, who’s disliked you, who’s hurt you, who’s deliberately hurt you — they’ve all impacted you.

They’ve all helped to make you who you are.

The only way you won’t be grateful for that is if you don’t like who you are.

And self-aware people always like who they are.

24) They know they’ve already been who they really are

There has been at least one time in your life when you’ve been who you really are. There have probably been many times. I hope there have. But there’s definitely been at least one time.

One time where you’ve made a decision completely for you. Where other people’s opinions just didn’t seem to matter. When you knew with your whole heart that it was just the right thing.

How did it feel? Good, right? And that’s an understatement.

So... what’s stopping you from doing it more often? What’s causing you to hold back from feeling that good again? Why are you pretending to be something you aren’t?

Because real self-awareness is so much more than knowing who you are.

It’s being who you are.

It reminds me of the biggest regret of the dying:

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected me of.”

That still gets me every time I read it.

I tried to work out exactly why it got me for a while. And I couldn’t. I’d just get emotional. But I think I have it now.

It gets me because the regret has nothing to do with not knowing how to live a life true to themselves. It has everything to with knowing exactly how, but lacking the courage to do it.

They knew who they were. They knew what they wanted. They knew what kind of life they wanted.

And yet... they made different choices. Because they thought they had to fulfill the expectations of others.

That is heartbreaking.

And sort of ironic. If they lived their life based on the expectations of other people, what did they think the other people were doing? Those other people were probably doing the same — living by the expectations of a group of different “other people.” And then THOSE other people... and on and on it goes.

We all know who we are.

Maybe it’s time to stop pretending we don’t.


If you liked this then subscribe to my blog. I’ll teach you how to become more self-aware, and you can take part in my surprisingly popular Wednesday Q and A: www.matthearnden.com

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Cling to the old
Posted by Owner Maria Bolt

Some will desperately cling onto the old.
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