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10 Tips on How to Live Your Best Life Tags: #life

Learn how to live your best life, embrace happiness, and discover your purpose with these 10 tips for living a full life.

One of our deepest-rooted desires is to live a fulfilled and happy life. In the age of the internet, social media, and a highly digitized world, it is easy to idealize lifestyles that seem unachievable. You may feel that you have lost touch with the things that can make you happy. It can seem nearly impossible to balance a successful career and social life while also keeping your health and well-being stable. Figuring out how to live life to its highest potential may feel elusive.

Truthfully, living your best life is within your grasp. You can learn to embrace happiness and achieve inner peace simply by changing and incorporating some healthy habits into your life. Sometimes living up to your full potential is just about taking the time for self-care. Taking little moments to meditate, journal, and goal-set can make all the difference.

The following 10 tips are a great roadmap to help us on the road to authentically living our best lives.

1. Be Intentional
One of the keys to success is being intentional about what you do. In general, when you set 
intentions, you are more likely to act with purpose and drive. Setting intentions with the mantra, “I am living my best life,” for example, will help form a clearer path for you to know what you need to accomplish. Setting an intention, or multiple intentions, on a monthly, weekly, or even daily basis, will help you to feel like you are living your life with purpose and will help you measure your success.

Goal-setting and intention-setting are nearly the same concept. When setting intentions, you decide what kind of emotions—what kind of positive feelings—you seek. By you intending to do something or become something, you are that much closer to living the life that we desire.

An easy way to establish intentions is by writing them down every month, week, or day—whichever interval might work best for you. Simply jot down a list of whatever you want to accomplish for the next time period. For example, “I intend to rekindle my friendship with X” or, “I intend to start practicing yoga three times per week.” These exercises will allow you to gain a clear vision of what you want from life. Not only does this give you something to focus on, but it also allows you to not feel overwhelmed by the future. Taking things one step at a time and living in the present makes life more rewarding.

2. Reimagine Visualizations
Going hand-in-hand with intention-setting, visualization is a beneficial practice to living your dream life. Once you have a clear vision of what intentions or goals you want to achieve, it is important to take action. Taking action can seem scary and intimidating, or even impossible. Visualization is almost like a test-run of your dream life. It helps to further establish what you want and allow you to settle into a positive mindset.

During visualization, you must choose your focus. Choose a specific intention and how you will feel once it is accomplished. Then, take the time to daydream! Whether you’re lying in bed, or sitting on a bench during your lunch break, take a few quiet moments to daydream and let your imagination take the lead. If you want to get a specific job, for example, imagine what you will look like if given this position.

  • What kind of attire would you wear?
  • What kind of daily routine would you have?
  • What kind of car would you drive to work every day?

Ask yourself these little questions and allow yourself to feel the kinds of feelings you would feel if you were in the position you wanted to be in.

This practice can be crucial to success because it gets you in the right mindset and can be mood-boosting. Even Olympic athletes use visualization to prepare for their events.

3. Crystalize Clarity Through Meditation
Meditation can be an amazing practice for mental health and clarity. Meditation is a commonly used practice to take breaks from the hustle and bustle of life to get back in tune with your inner self.

If you are new to meditation, start slowly and ease yourself into the practice. Find a comfortable and quiet place where you are able to relax fully. If you don’t have time to start an hour-long meditation, begin with just 10 minutes. Listen to your body. Remember, meditation takes practice just like everything else so start slowly with a goal in mind.

4. Release Through a Journal
You might not have access to a listening ear when you need to vent. A great alternative to a vent-session with a good friend is taking time to write down your thoughts in a journal. According to 
the University of Rochester Medical Center, putting a brain dump to paper can help ease symptoms of depression and manage stress and anxiety. Not only does it give you an opportunity to release cooped-up feelings, but it also gives you the opportunity to organize your thoughts. In the chaos of life, it is easy to overthink or feel anxious. Journaling can help you cope with life in a productive manner.

5. See the World, Any Part of It
Finances and work can easily create a barrier to
 travel. However, traveling and seeing the world can contribute to feeling like you are living a fulfilled life. There will always be an excuse to not travel, whether it be your work schedule, a tight budget, or the fear of traveling alone. But by taking the plunge and making travel happen, your life can transform from normal to your best life.

Traveling doesn’t have to require spending thousands of dollars on a month-long trip to Europe. It can be as simple as taking a road trip to a nearby city or camping for a weekend. Whether you feel like you’ve gotten stuck in a boring routine, or if you’re stressed by the tasks of daily life, traveling is a way to step outside yourself and your comfort zone; it is a reminder of how big and diverse the world can be.

6. Prioritize Your Health
Another step toward your best life is starting your health journey. Taking a conscious step to take better care of your physical health is one essential part of improving your overall well-being. 
Eating healthy and staying active can do a world of good for your mental health as well. Taking the time and effort to plan your meals, cook at home more, and exercise regularly are additional ways to set yourself up for long-term success.

Starting small is key when beginning a conscious health journey. Try starting by incorporating more whole foods into your diet—add in a few more leafy greens and fresh fruits. Try going for a walk in the evenings or taking a break right after work to do some yoga. It’s all about balance when it comes to sustainable healthy habits, so it’s necessary to take baby steps.

If you’re newer to healthy living practices, it’s never a good idea to start restrictive eating patterns that will ultimately crash, or to buy an expensive gym membership that you will never want to use. Instead, gradually add these healthy practices as you feel you can handle them.

7. Fall Into the Deepest Love of Self
You may work hard on your relationships with friends, but forget about your relationship with yourself. Learn to practice daily self-love. Creating your dream life will not happen if you are neglecting your intuition and your emotional state. It is important to check in with yourself. All the things on this list are forms of practicing self-love, but there are even more.

  • Take a bubble bath.
  • Watch your favorite comedy.
  • Spend an hour in the sun.

Embrace everything and anything that fills your spirit and adds to the good in your life!

8. Boost Your Brain Power
If you’re reading this article, you’re already on the right track. When it comes to reading and learning, you may not take the time to do enough. But when you feel intellectually stimulated, you are more likely to feel good and productive in other areas of your life.

So start reading the newspaper every morning, or pick up a few books to keep on your night stand instead of scrolling through social media before bed. Find a topic that interests you and foster that passion by reading up on it. Not only will this stimulate your mind, but it may inspire you to take action toward something you love.

9. Practice Yoga
Yoga is an enriching practice on many levels. Like meditation, it can be healthy for you mentally and physically. Taking time to practice yoga weekly, or even daily, can help to give your brain the mental break it needs from the chaos of life. In addition, it connects your mind and body on a deeper level. By practicing yoga, you can become more aware of what is going on in your body and more in-tune with what your body might need.

On a physical level, yoga is a great way to exercise. Many forms of yoga, like Bikram or hot yoga, can be a great workout. There are also yoga practices aimed at stretching and flexibility. Whatever benefits you are trying to achieve physically from yoga, there is likely a practice that will fit your goals. Yoga is a way to honor yourself.

10. Be Aware of the Ego
You have a little voice in your head that tells you that you can’t do something, or that you’re not good enough for something else. It is easy to get wrapped up in your thoughts, and that can be a source of stress or lack of fulfillment in life.

Becoming aware of your presence in your own head can seem like a daunting task. But the more you are able to identify that little voice in your head, sometimes known as the ego, that criticizes or questions everything you do, the more you can let go of negativity.

Learning what your negative self-talk is and redirecting it is an essential part of personal growth. When you are aware of negative patterns in your thought processes you are able to transform them into more positive energy. Self-awareness is one of the most crucial stepping points on the path to your best life, and every little step will get you closer to creating the life you want.

Each one of these 10 tips can help you improve your life. However you approach these tips, you can benefit from these concrete steps to make each of your days that much better!

11 Signs Your Friendship Is Holding You Back Tags: #friends # support

Friendships often seem like relationships that will last forever. Your work bestie, your college roomie, your long-time BFF — these people are your people, and it's assumed they'll always be there. But sometimes things don't feel right, and you may have the sneaking suspicion that the friendship is holding you back. When that happens, moving on may be the best option.

This can happen when you outgrow a friendship, which is often the case once you head off to college, or go through another major life change. But this is even more so the case when a friendship has turned toxic. "In the same way that great friendships can help you achieve your personal goals ... a toxic friendship can block you from moving forward," says Sally Horchow, broadway producer and co-author of The Art of Friendship: 70 Simple Rules for Making Meaningful Connections, in an email to Bustle. "It’s hard to admit that a friendship has become stale — much less toxic. But once you have, it’s imperative that you quickly get out of the situation."If you think that's the case with one of your pals, Horchow suggests slowly backing out of the friendship the way you would a bad date. "The best way is to simply stop making plans with that person, and cut off communication with them," she says. "If that feels harsh, then wean off more gradually ... Fewer and fewer texts over time, until it’s silent." Read on for some signs that your friendship is most definitely holding you back.

1. They Don't Support You Making A Change

Let's say you want to make a positive change — maybe it's exercising more, drinking less, or giving up smoking. A good friend will be on board with that, and may even help you out. A toxic friend, on the other hand, will likely come up short in the "supportive friend" department. They may even give you a hard time, Horchow told me, or encourage you to do the very thing you're trying to avoid. Not cool.

2. You Can't Share Your Accomplishments

Besides maybe your mom or your SO, your friends should be some of the first people you notify when things are going well. So take note if you keep your accomplishments on the down low. "If you're worried to tell a friend about a new accomplishment, triumph, or life event, you might want to look harder at that relationship," said health expert Rebecca Butler on MindBodyGreen.com. There may be some underlying competition or discomfort there that's only going to hold you back.

3. You're Never Your True Self

"Most of us have a tendency to rein in certain parts of ourselves around certain people, but when it comes to a true best friend, you should be able to let it all hang out — or at the very least, be able to be honest about who you are and what you feel," noted health writer Claire Hannum on SELF. If that's not the case, it may be time to move on to a friend group where you can truly be yourself.

4. They Seem Jealous Of You

Remember what I said about your so-called friend not supporting your positive change? "A friend ... who discourages you from making that change, or even threatens to stand in the way of it (because, perhaps, that person thinks it will threaten their importance in your life) is not a friend to keep," Horchow says. You want a friend who sees you as a separate and amazing person — not someone they compare themselves to.

5. You've Grown In Different Directions

I remember the moment I realized some of my high school friends and I had grown in different directions. It sucked, but moving on gave me the chance to be the new 20-something I found myself to be. "This can be such a bittersweet reality of young, intense friendships," Hannum said. "Maybe once you wanted the exact same things out of life, and now, your values are clashing. Sometimes that's just too impossible to ignore."

6. He Or She Is Constantly Letting You Down

A friendship shouldn't make your life stressful. So don't put up with a friend who constantly lets you down. As health writer Kassandra Brabaw said on Prevention, "... if she's always rescheduling, always late, and always forgets to call, then there might be a problem." This type of disrespect is simply not something you should have to deal with.

7. You Don't Get Anything Out Of It

If you've been friends with someone for a while, it can be difficult to pinpoint exactly what it is you get out of the relationship. Maybe your friend seems to be happy and content with how things are, but do you? "Friendships are supposed to be meaningful in some way for both parties,"said Butler. "If you hesitate when you have time scheduled, you might want to stop and look into that feeling."

8. There's Some Kind Of Unknown Tension

You wouldn't put up with tension in your personal life, so take note if you're putting up with it from a friend. "Usually, these end up exploding before they get any better or worse," Hannum said. "Sometimes, that confrontation leads to understanding each other better than ever, which is awesome. Other times, though, it leads to the grim realization that your friendship isn't working anymore."

9. Your Friend Doesn't Expand Your Horizons

If you truly want friends to push you forward — instead of holding you back — then look to surround yourself with friends who push the boundaries. Look for people who introduce you to interesting ideas, or who are always down to try something new. It's perfectly OK to (politely) drop anyone who doesn't fit the bill.

10. It Feels Like A Waste Of Time

We all need those pals who pop over to say hi, or to chat about the weather. But it should never be at the expense of doing things that matter to you. Think of what you can accomplish when you clear up that schedule, and devote yourself only to relationships more worth your while.

11. When It's All About The Drama

Occasional disagreements are to be expected, and good friends will weather them together. And yet, in the same way you don't want to clog your calendar with pointless relationships, you also don't want to bog yourself down with drama, according to Hannum.

Life's too short to be held back by less-than-stellar relationships. So don't be afraid to move on from the ones that are stale, toxic, or not worth your time.

Images: Pexels (12)

Why You Need to Put Yourself First and How to Do It Tags: #yourself

Before I had my daughter in 2005, at age 32, I spent my time boxing, surfing, traveling the world as part of my job with a tour operator, and fixing up a dilapidated beach house with my husband. I had lots of fun, but spent very little time doing things for other people.

I made time for my husband, my family, and my friends, but I was mostly able to do what I wanted, when I wanted.

Then, we had baby.

For the first year of my daughter’s life she came before everything else. In a way, it was a relief to look outside myself so completely. There’s a dark side to constantly focusing on yourself. It can lead to a rigid way of thinking, an inability to be flexible or to compromise. If you’re constantly looking at yourself in the mirror, you can’t see anyone around you.

Just as I was coming out of my baby fog, and starting to get back into focusing on my own health, my son was born 2008. Now I had two people’s needs to put before my own.

It took two years until I was able to think about putting my needs first again.

I realized I had swung too far in the other direction, and I needed to put myself higher on my list of priorities. I couldn’t go back to the way I was before kids, but I had to find a way to prioritize health and fitness while building my career, taking care of my kids, and spending time with my husband — all while not getting buried under mountains of laundry.

Why You Need to Put Yourself First and How to Do It

First, Establish Priorities

I think sometimes people misunderstand what it means to “put yourself first.” It doesn’t mean doing what you want to do all the time. It doesn’t mean ignoring the needs of others. It’s all a matter of priorities and understanding the interplay between taking care of yourself and others.

I have four main priorities in my life: family, community, health, and work. Two of these are self directed: my health and my work. Two equally important priorities, my family and my community, are more altruistic.

The reality is that all of my priorities are intertwined, and the success of one depends on the other.

If I ignore my health, it’s difficult to be there for my family, both mentally and physically. My workouts help stabilize my mood, give me more energy, and prolong my life. This is why I don’t feel any shame putting a high priority on my hour in the gym. It’s not only about looking good in my lululemon pants (although that is a nice side benefit), it’s about having the energy to be engaged and present with my husband and children.

Exercising also benefits my work. Writing requires creativity, and that doesn’t always happen sitting in front of a computer. Biking home from the gym is when I get my best ideas. It’s not a surprise to me that studies show exercise boosts creativity. I experience it firsthand almost every day.

Why You Need to Put Yourself First and How to Do It

On the surface, it might seem like family, especially kids, would be at odds with health and work. And, truth be told, sometimes they are, especially when the kids were babies. But as I worked through the process of focusing more on my own health and my career, I began to see how my habits benefit my family.

It’s important to me to eat lots of vegetables. Every night I make a salad plus some other vegetable. My kids have grown up seeing all sorts of vegetables appear on their plates, and it’s made an impact. They happily consume salad, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, and kale. (I’m still working on chard.) My kids also benefit from my healthy habits because they are growing up with an example of parents who prioritize health and fitness.

The community part of this equation is interesting. For me, community encompasses my friends, my neighborhood, and any organizations that are meaningful to me. I give back to my community by volunteering monthly at a local soup kitchen, helping the local elementary school, or doing favors for my friends.

These things are all about putting others first, but focusing on community does help me at times, too. If I’ve done a favor for a friend — let’s say watched her kids so she can go to the gym — I don’t feel bad asking her for the same favor. It’s important to ask for help as much as you offer it. It puts you in a vulnerable position, but nothing strengthens a friendship more than asking for a favor.

Volunteering within my community helps connect me to a cause greater than myself, and gives meaning to my life. Having a purpose, and being connected to a larger cause, has a positive effect on well-being and overall satisfaction. Happiness is tied to getting what you want, which does not always happen. Meaning is longer lasting, better able to endure the vicissitudes of life.

Why You Need to Put Yourself First and How to Do It

How the Whole Life Challenge Helps You Commit to Yourself

Intellectually you may understand how prioritizing your health benefits those around you, but putting this knowledge into practice can be difficult.

That’s where the Whole Life Challenge comes in.

Making a financial commitment and joining a supportive team is a great incentive to start putting your health first.

But before getting started, you have to accept a few things are likely to suffer. Life is full of tradeoffs and you’ll be more successful if you’re also realistic.

During the week, I have to let household chores slide. It’s how I make room for exercise and cooking a healthy meal every night, on top of work and getting kids to various practices and lessons. So, the laundry piles up and I do four or five loads on the weekend instead. In addition, I commit part of each Sunday to meal planning and shopping for food so I can ensure another successful week.

But what is most important is that I don’t try to do everything myself. Everyone in the family pitches in. If you’re worried how your family will react to your newly rearranged priorities, talk it over with them. Reassure them the big things will not change, and explain the benefits of you focusing on yourself.

Why You Need to Put Yourself First and How to Do It

When You Get in the Way of You

What if the barrier to putting yourself first is — yourself? In this case, it might be useful to think about why you have trouble prioritizing your own needs.

  • Is always putting others first part of your identity?
  • Do you dislike exercising and eating healthy, and use putting others first as a way to avoid doing those things?
  • Another misconception about putting yourself first is that it entails only enjoyable, relaxing activities. This isn’t the case.

When it comes to health, putting yourself first means exercising when you don’t want to or drinking sparkling water when you’d rather have a soda. These things may not be entirely pleasurable, or what you feel like doing, but they will improve your life in the long run.

Review: How to Put Yourself First

  1. Make a list of your priorities. Keep it short.
  2. Ask for help from your family and your community.
  3. Keep a balance between treating yourself and giving to others.
  4. Remember putting yourself first sometimes involves doing things that are difficult, but benefit you in the long run.
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